So here I am. Just me. For the first time in almost 26 years I am NOT in a relationship.
How exciting is that?
Truthfully, it’s exciting and scary as hell. I flip flop pretty regularly. First I’m excited about all the things I will learn about myself, do for myself, do with myself, etc. Then I’m freaked out.
When I’m freaked out I think “what if no man ever loves me again!” “What if I’m alone forever?!” I hate these thoughts. They are silly and irrational and the truth of the matter is, if no man ever loves me again or if I am alone forever, that will be fine and wonderful too. I am NOT one of those women who needs a man to be complete. It’s simply that this is the first time alone in 26 years. I am very different from the person I was the last time I was alone, at 19.
Not to mention, it’s silly for me to say I will never have another man love me. I have two sons who adore me, a male dog who thinks I’m the bomb, my two brothers and my father. Not to mention countless other men I know who profess love, albeit brotherly, for me.
So . . . on July 18, 2011 I declared I will not date for at least a year. I should have done this when I left my husband, but I didn’t. Now I have been given the opportunity and I am going to take it.
No dates til at least July 18, 2012.
It’s kind of freaky when I think about it – when I open myself up to dating again my oldest son will have graduated from high school and my youngest son will be getting ready to go into 8th grade. And I will be one year older and I’d like to think a whole lot wiser too!
Let’s get started.