It’s a beautiful day. Portland is experiencing a perfect fall day with sun, blue skies and a high temperature of 73 degrees (and tomorrow they are promising 80!).
Today marks 21 days of no contact with B. Fabulous.
Never thought I’d be able to say that. I feel so weak with respect to him, but 21 days is the closest I have ever gotten to my goal of 30. Thirty being a number I pulled out of thin air. Somehow I believe if I can go 30 days with no contact I will have reached a monumental moment in which I believe I have made some progress in moving beyond my heartache.
Other things are on my mind and keeping me happy.
The 40th running of the Portland Marathon happens in 11 days. I am excited to be a part of that! I probably won’t run Portland again since there are a million marathons all over the world, not to mention thousands in my little corner of the country, and it’s simply not necessary to run the same marathon over and over again. Not to mention the hype for the Portland Marathon is a bit ridiculous. While I can appreciate the hype, I prefer events that are more about the run. But I’m a Portlander and I’m a runner and it is simply blasphemy not to run the Portland Marathon at least once.
In 12 days I will begin my 3rd quarter Master Cleanse. I do it 4 times a year, once a quarter. I always think I’m going to do it in September, but I generally have a run I’m training for to occur in October and can’t risk screwing up my training with no food for 10 days. So immediately following the Portland Marathon it’s all about the lemonade.
My mother introduced me to The Master Cleanse about 5 years ago. I struggled through at least 5 attempts to make it the whole 10 days before I actually accomplished the task, but now it’s pretty simple for me. I look forward to not being consumed with food. What to buy, what to cook, what to eat.
You have no idea how much time you spend thinking about food until you aren’t eating food for a good number of days and don’t have to think about it at all. It gives you a lot of time to think about much more significant things. It clears your mind while it cleans your body and it resets my soul. I always look forward to it.
While I’m on the cleanse I still buy food and cook for my kids, but their needs are simple and don’t require much thought.
In 13 days I will be getting my tattoo! I am beyond excited about that. I cannot wait! The guy I’m dating has a blue star tattooed on his leg. It’s representative of the Cowboys, that he loves, but it’s pretty nondescript. He and my oldest son have helped fuel my excitement over the tattoo. My son is counting down the days (58) until he turns 18 and he can get HIS tattoo (a Jimi Hendrix quote), but in the meantime, he’s vicariously living through me.
I may, possibly, get my bellybutton pierced on the same day. I’m still undecided. I’m simply afraid of the pain. Tattoo pain does not worry me. The piercing does. A couple of weeks ago my oldest son told me he was going to get his nose pierced on Sunday. While I thought it sounded ridiculous for HIM, that’s another piercing I’ve considered. (Not so I can have some big obnoxious thing sticking out of my nose, but I always notice and like the little tiny sparkly nose piercings. The ones you almost miss, except for the sparkle.) When I mentioned this to him, he told me to come with him and we could get it done together. For a split second (possibly 3) I considered it, but then I told him I couldn’t fathom the pain and would have to decline. He apparently hadn’t considered the pain, and once I started talking about it he decided maybe he wasn’t ready for that either. . . so his nose is still hole free. Clearly, if he had gone home to his father’s with a nose piercing I would have been attacked for my lack of good judgment as a parent, so I dodged a bullet that weekend.
My regular mantra sounds something like “I am happy, healthy, grateful and content.”
Right now, I am in a good place. I’ve been in this place before and I’m always happy to find myself in it again. I have, many times in the past, spent a good portion of this time worrying. About everything. Trying to figure out what is going to happen to make this good place slip away.
A few days or weeks ago I read something on a friend’s blog (http://jenniferlynch.wordpress.com/) that seemed pretty simple. Not quoting exactly, she said why choose to spend time thinking about how things are going to go wrong. Instead, why not choose to spend time thinking about how everything is going to turn out perfectly.
When I read it I thought, yea, why not? I have been trying to keep my train of thought on that track ever since. Every day is not successful, but it’s getting easier, the more I work at it.
I’m in a good place, and for however long it lasts, days, weeks, months, even years, I just want to be present to enjoy it.
Have a great day!