Every run since that 20 has royally sucked ass.
Although every training script I have read suggests you get out and do a short recovery run within 2 days of your 20, I don’t. Never have. I wake up the second day after 20 and the thought that runs through my head is “WTF? I just ran 20 miles. I deserve more sleep.”
It was no different this time, however when I got out there to run 5 on Tuesday it was as if I had never run before. I felt as though I was running in quicksand and every effort to move forward was brutally hard. I’ve had runs suck ass before, haven’t we all, but this was even worse than that. I made my 5, but not without some serious self-talk along the way.
Wednesday, 5 miles. Ugh. There wasn’t enough self-talk left in my brain to get me through it. Everything in my head was an argument, “you said that same shit yesterday and what did it get you?” “Bullshit!” I did a whopping 2.44 miles and scared my dog when I came in the house screaming curse words and throwing my clothes off as I headed for the shower.
Thursday I was scheduled to run 5 again but I flipped my alarm the bird when it went off and rolled over and went back to sleep.
Friday I attempted the 5 again and while it felt better, it was nowhere near as nice as it should have been. I have three 5 mile routes in my town and I love them all for different reasons. This was my favorite route – and quite possibly that’s why it felt better, but it still sucked. I had to talk myself through it. Not just in my head, out loud. I had to hear myself say “Quit the mental bitching and run it out.” “Suck it up buttercup!” And my personal favorite “For fucks sake, just do it already!” It was awful and had someone else been yelling that shit at me I would have burst into tears. Honestly.
Saturday was supposed to be 8. Eight is actually my favorite distance, but it was a repeat of Thursday. A direct and pointed finger to the alarm and more sleep.
Sunday was 12. Not my favorite number. Truthfully I don’t like 12, 13 or 14. No reason, really, but I always groan when I see one of those numbers pop up on my Smart Phone. I blame the suckyness of this run, however, on the lovely and eclectic weather of Portland, Oregon. 12 miles generally takes me 2 hours 10 minutes. But apparently that’s only when it’s raining or completely dry. Sunday while I ran I was met with rain, gusty wind, snow, sunshine, more rain, more snow, large rock sized hail, and oh, yea, more sunshine. Took me an additional half an hour and I created new and exciting curse words during the run.
I didn’t even set my alarm for running on Monday and Tuesday. Decided it would be the better course not to even play the game with myself, and just sleep in. Of course the dog woke me up because he knows the routine, but I growled at him and he laid back down and took in the additional sleep.
Today I should have run 5, but I ran a pathetic 2.72. My shins hurt, the bottom of my feet hurt and for the first time when I returned to my house I had a screaming headache. I don’t think that was run induced but I have to mention it since it added to my sucked ass run.
What is this about? That’s my question. Is this punishment for having the audacity to run an effortless 20 miles? I may never utter those words again. Never. The payback is just too much for me.
Running is my joy. It keeps me sane, reaffirms my freedom and makes me happy. Runs that suck ass make me question my sanity and make me feel weak. I don’t like that feeling and try hard not to take it in, but so many pathetic runs in a row makes it difficult.
Tomorrow I’m up for 8. My favorite number. It’s supposed to rain, but what’s new there? Nothing. I will bound out of bed at 3:30, do my before I run ritual and get my ass out of the house to happily run 8 beautifully wet miles. It will feel good, there will be no pain and when I return to the house I will be reassured that the earth’s axis is right again.
My 10 day vacation starts on Friday and I couldn’t be happier. While they are not my original plans, I tend to think they are better plans.
Blue eyes and I will head to Vegas Friday afternoon for some 80 degree weather, lots of sun and wild “what-happens-in-Vegas-stays-in-Vegas” fun. When we return on Sunday he’ll head home from the airport while I wait patiently for my 1:30 flight which will take me to San Francisco. My favorite city in the whole wide world. I will spend the rest of my week absorbing the energy that only San Francisco puts out.
I look forward to night runs in Vegas and whenever I feel like it runs in San Francisco. My absolute favorite run is down the Embarcadero at sunrise. While I haven’t been everywhere, I say with complete and utter confidence there is nothing like it anywhere. To reach the base of the Bay Bridge when the sun starts its climb into the sky will take your breath away. All I can hope for is the sun will make an appearance while I’m there.
The weather forecast says I’m in luck!
Undoubtedly better runs are in my future, of this I can be sure!