A few weeks ago, in preparation for Blue Eyes birthday, I took a day off work and went to have some professional pictures taken of myself. These weren’t your average every day pictures however, these were of the boudoir variety.
The first time I saw boudoir photography was probably ten years ago. I was fascinated by it and stunned by the tastefulness of some and the trashiness of others. I was married then and many times considered gifting my husband with the surprise of me in photos like that.
I can’t begin to explain to you how crazy the idea was at that time. I was nothing like the me I am now. I was uncomfortable in my skin and found nothing flattering about myself when I looked in the mirror. That probably had something to do with why I considered doing it – it seemed like a way to “pretend” to be someone else.
I never did it, however, because I was married to a man who would have punished me for the action. While he may have liked the final outcome he would have stewed on exactly how the photos came to be. The time it took to “sneak” away and get the pictures taken. He would have imagined another man took the pictures (even if I told him it was a woman); he would have imagined that I enjoyed it and that I likely also had sex with the man. He would have punished me (verbally/emotionally) for these things he imagined. And he would have ruined the gift, for me and for him. Seriously. That’s why I never did it. Seems extreme, probably, but I know this to be true from other events that occurred throughout our 23 year marriage.
I’m a different woman now and Blue Eyes is an extremely different man. I knew his mind would not wander in the same direction and he would view it in a very different light. And truthfully he was only benefiting from something I wanted and was ultimately doing for MYSELF.
So I took a day off work went to Peekaboo Portland.
I arrived at the studio at noon and was met by the coolest make-up artist ever (okay, so yeah, I don’t know many). After I told her I was a little nervous she popped a bottle of champagne, poured me a glass, told me to relax and began to apply my makeup.
I’m in this weird place with my hair – weird in that I use to have long, past my shoulders hair, that I had relaxed every 6 weeks. About 4 years ago I got tired of the maintenance of long hair and I chopped it all off. Here’s a picture of me after I chopped off my hair.
About 18 months ago I got tired of the short hair and wanted my long hair back immediately. HA ha ha, yeah. Doesn’t work like that. In addition to wanting my hair long again, I also wanted to stop chemically treating it with relaxers – something I’d been having done since I was 3 years old (42 years). So I stopped. Then I bought a wig I could throw on every now and then to appease my desire for long hair. When my hair grew out long enough I got a sew-in weave so I could instantly have long hair. Here is what that looks like.
I wore the weave for 9 months. It was a great experience; one I’d always wanted to have – but DAMN if it wasn’t expensive. In 9 months I spent $1,000 keeping the weave up. So in January I stopped, had the weave taken out and had my hair braided. I’ve been wearing braids for four months and I really like it, especially the ease of it (because I run).
All this explanation to say — I thought I would get the photos taken in my braids, but after Kirsten did my make-up, the wig felt more appropriate. The make-up took an hour, and three glasses of champagne.
When Kirsten was done Jessica, the photographer, arrived and we discussed what I would be wearing. The package I had paid for allowed me to change my clothes four times. I actually brought five “outfits” because I couldn’t decide between two tops and she said I could do them both. Yay!!
Kirsten left the studio, Jessica turned on the music, I changed my clothes and the photo shoot began. What was supposed to be an hour-long photo shoot turned into two hours — dancing, laughing, chatting about Blue Eyes and photos. Lots and lots of photos. I’ve never had so much fun in hardly any clothes with a woman I’ve only just met. Oh.My.God.Was.It.Fun!
I’ve done some cropping, because I hardly think it’s appropriate for me to share pictures of me in my underwear, but here are some of my favorite pictures.
My package included a 2”x3” “Little Black Book” for Blue Eyes. The little black book held 20 photos of my choosing. There were over a hundred to choose from, but I picked them out. I got the book before his birthday and met him for dinner. After we had ordered I pushed the little box over in front of him and watched him open the box, pull out the little black velvet bag and then the book. He opened the book and his expression was priceless. Shock, surprise, enjoyment, happiness. I saw it all as he perused the book. Since I generally only see him once or twice a week and every other weekend he told me he would no doubt benefit from his gift. That made me laugh.
With my approval, some of my pictures are on Peekaboo’s Blog. If you’d like to see them you can follow this link. I’m not naked but please be warned these likely rise above a PG rating.
It’s an experience I won’t soon forget – I’m thinking Blue Eyes won’t soon forget it either. . .
Have a good weekend everyone!