Posts Tagged ‘life’

Hello People!

I remember thinking, at the beginning of 2017, that this was going to be quite a year. Lot’s going on. Well, today is the end of the first HALF of 2017. Mind blowing really, but it’s true. We only have six more months in this amazing year. So much has happened, and yet, so much is getting ready to happen and it really IS blowing my mind.

The biggest thing to happen recently is my baby child graduated from high school. My baby child who towers above me (and I’m not short at 5’8”). It was a wonderful ceremony and he had an army of family there from Michigan and California to cheer for him when they called his name. It was pretty special and I could not believe how emotional it made me. I mean, seriously, I’d been through this before with his older brother, but man, it really got me. But oh my goodness I’m so proud.


Ethan Graduation


He mentioned, a couple of days before graduation, that he should get his hair cut so he could wear the cap – I will not tell my children how to dress, wear their hair, or anything similar – but I hated the idea of him cutting his hair. The afro has defined his high school years and it just seemed wrong for him to cut it before graduation. Instead of saying THAT, however, I just taught him about bobby pins. When he walked out with his class it made me giggle to see his cap hanging off the back of his giant afro. Despite the wind and subsequent (light) rain, it stayed on!


Ethan Grad Line


We had a joint graduation party for him and his best friend the following day and it was a success as well. My Ex-husband and I coexisted in the same room together without nuclear warfare and I got to see members of his family that I love dearly and miss terribly. It was a very good time.


But now that’s all over.


What’s next?


Well, I’m going to play the part of the bride in a wedding that’s scheduled to occur in 43 days. It’s freaking me out. After years, literally, of waiting for this to happen, it’s right around the proverbial corner. And although we went to great lengths to stress to each other that we were going to have a “small” wedding, which in some way sounded “easy” – it freaking ISN’T easy. The details are coming out of my ass. I’m not complaining though. I’ve been waiting, patiently, to marry this man, again, in front of everyone who matters to us, for three and a half years so I can certainly handle the details.


I get my wedding dress back from the seamstress tomorrow. Yay.


Did I mention we’re building a house? Probably not. We are. A house where finally, after the same 3½ years, we will get to live together under the same roof. It’s a novel concept, isn’t it? Originally we were scheduled to close on July 28. That was a mere 14 days before the wedding which was stressful to think about but we were willing to deal with it – but then cabinets got delayed and now we are not scheduled to close until August 22.

With this news we were both annoyed and a little depressed. It means we’re going to have a wedding, go away for a couple of days and then when we return to the area, he will go to his house and I will go to mine, 45 minutes away, because “our house” is not ready yet.


We were annoyed and a little depressed until we voiced the fact that less than two weeks more of waiting, after waiting for as long as we have, is really child’s play and not worth the effort of being annoyed. So there you go.


We visit the house regularly – can’t help it. We’ll be visiting it this weekend to check on the progress. Last time we were there the drywall was up and it was starting to really look like a house, instead of a shell of a house.




After we get into the house we will have about 6 weeks to settle in before we will leave on our official honeymoon. Every time I get a little stressed out I take a deep breath and remind myself that soon enough (99 days from today, yes, I’m counting) we will leave for 23 straight days of vacation.


I know this is crazy – but just last week I made a lunch reservation for us at Club del Doge. Yes, I have issues, but I want that table right by the water and made that request in my reservation. No one seemed to think it was odd that I was making the reservation for October in June. Tables on the terrace are hard to come by so I took what I think are appropriate measures. . .




So ya’ll, that’s what’s going on with me. I hope you are all well and getting ready to thoroughly enjoy a nice long weekend to celebrate the 4th of July. My weekend is scheduled to be low key, which is how I like it. The sun is shining and life is good.


So good.


Gratefulness overflows.


Be well People!


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Happy New Year!!

Since it’s been exactly five months since my last post I just want you all to know I have not abandoned this blog. I’ve just been a little busy.

Since today is the last day of the year I thought I’d make the effort to actually write and reflect on 2014. It was a life changing year for me in a variety of ways.

At the beginning of the year I had the brilliant idea to go back to college and get my BS in nutrition. Yes, I’m 48 years old and have an amazing job working as a corporate paralegal. As a matter of fact I’ve been a paralegal for over 20 years, however it’s not my passion and you only live once so I considered my options and made the decision. I can retire from the company I work for now in 9 short years. That is to say I can retire with full benefits at 57, even though I won’t be able to draw on them until I turn 62. Nonetheless, I thought that would be a perfect moment in my life to stop doing what I have to do to make as much money as I can, and start doing what I want to do regardless of the financial gain. Hence my degree-seeking behavior.

It’s going well, which is surprising. School and I did not get along many years ago and it’s amazing I finished high school, let alone paralegal school. But apparently things have changed, I’m a little more focused and a tad bit more dedicated to the cause. I’m officially a sophomore (based on my credits) and have maintained a 4.0 since the beginning. Please don’t confuse my 4.0 GPA with the assumption that it’s “easy” for me – it’s not; I’ve cried a lot, stayed up all night a lot, and melted down before finals a lot. Yet I’ve managed to do it, while working my full time, no-walk-in-the-park job, and being present for my kids and Blue Eyes. Of course my kids are 21 and 15½ so being present for them is very different from when they were younger. And Blue Eyes? Well, he lives 46 miles away from me and while we see each other often, being present for him is very different than if we lived together 24/7.

I was pretty focused on paying off debt this year and I’m happy to find here, on the last day of the year, that while it didn’t go as I had imagined (because somehow I thought I could pay off all my debt in a year and still manage to live and not create more debt — ) it did go well. I’m starting 2015 with roughly the same amount of debt, but since my debt load increased during the year due to my oldest son having surgery, I did pretty good. I went on vacation three times, got through all four children’s birthdays, AND got through Christmas without the use of credit. In addition, I paid off the IRS, two credit cards in full and all the medical expenses associated with said child’s surgery (except for the last $40 payment I have to make to the surgeon next week). I’m very pleased. In 2015 I expect to make more of a dent.

It’s a fact that I work to vacation. Seriously.  That’s the reason I go to work every single day. So I can go on vacation. This year I went on three wonderful vacations. Blue Eyes and I hiked 12 miles into the Grand Canyon in March and then 12 miles out a few days later and couched that beautiful trip with some well-deserved recovery (and a little ceremony) in Vegas. It was a spectacular trip.


In July I went to central Oregon with two of my most favorite girlfriends and learned to fly fish (okay, that’s not true. I learned how to stand in the middle of the river and look like I knew how to fly fish.) That was a fun, fun, fun time.


And then in October I met my two brothers and sister in Vegas for a weekend of sibling togetherness which was amazing and wonderful in ways none of us expected. We had not all been together in over two years so it was a banner moment in time.  I love my siblings. ❤ ❤


In addition, Blue Eyes and I went to the Oregon coast and found some new favorite spots we will definitely revisit. All in all my vacation needs were met.


Running fell by the way, way side. I did run a marathon, but only one. I ran the Vancouver USA marathon and felt like I did a good job. I PR’d by a minute or two in general and PR’d the course by 10 minutes so I was happy. Sadly, though I just didn’t make time for running both before and after that marathon. I miss it and have been getting back into it slowly. My Garmin broke and I’ve decided to go without one for a year and see if it changes my feeling about running. I’ve already fretted over the fact that I won’t know how far I’ve run when I have to run X amount of miles, but that’s silly. I’ve run every distance multiple times and I know which routes meet which demands. I think it will be refreshing to not have a Garmin. At least today I think that. I just want to run, and remember that I love it.

I did run a relay event with some girlfriends in November. That was brutal. Six legs covered by 3 women. Originally we had 6 women, but two of them were injured and one went out of town so it came down to three of us. Each one of us ran our legs back to back, which seemed like a good idea initially. But since I hadn’t run in quite some time (um, like the marathon in June) 11 miles kicked my ass good. Still we finished the relay and had a good time and I managed to smile through most of it.

relay run

Other news? Blue Eyes is great. I love him madly and can’t wait until our “wedding” which is officially set for August of 2017 – after my youngest graduates high school.  It’s a formality for our friends and family and while it won’t actually signify the day we got married, very few people will know that and for us it will signify the beginning of when we actually get to live under the same roof 24/7/365. I very much look forward to that. As he says, the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter as each day passes and it will all be worth it in the end. Here, here. ❤ ❤


I expect 2015 to be wonderful – Blue Eyes and I will go to San Francisco for a few days in March to celebrate the anniversary – San Francisco being one of my favorite places, as well as a place he has not been to (he did drive through one weekend on the way to San Jose, MANY years ago, but that does not count) I am beyond excited to show him this city that I love. Outside of that, I hope to run a couple of marathons, pay off some more debt, create none, continue to do well in school, be happy, stay healthy and stay very grateful for my life.


I wish you all the best in 2015 !


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Last weekend I went camping with two of my dearest girlfriends. For approximately two weeks prior to the trip I had debated with myself about whether or not I would actually go. My debate most often centered on money and my desire to spend as little as possible due to a variety of unexpected expenses this summer. But as the date got closer, my need to get out of town, decompress and feed my soul was far greater than my penny-pinching-debt-pay-down ways.

Friday morning I had to drop my puppy off at the kennel. I always feel guilty about that, even if it’s only for a couple of nights. To ease my own guilt I took him for an early morning run. I reasoned he would be so exhausted from the run he wouldn’t have enough energy to give me his sad puppy eyes when I said good-bye at the kennel. For those of you not familiar with my puppy, here he is.


At a little over 200 pounds he is not a lover of the run, but he does love me and if I want to run with him he will run with me, for at least a little while. I’ve pushed him to run 4 miles before, but his limit is really 2. Friday we ran just under 2 and he was beat. After drinking a bucket of water, he sprawled out on my bedroom floor while I showered and got ready. We went to the kennel and said our good-byes with a minimum of sad looks.

Then I was off to drive 3 hours to my girlfriends home in Terrabonne, or as she calls it “TerraBama.” The day was sunny, the drive was lovely and Mt. Hood was a spectacular site.

mt. hood

I got to C’s house around 10:30 and while she and S finished getting ready I enjoyed a nice cup of hot tea while sitting by her koi pond.

koi pond

Later I sat in her backyard with Frank. C’s standard poodle. You would never know from this picture that just seconds before he was all in my face attacking me.


C had purchased a month’s worth of groceries and after her husband helped us get them all out to the cars we headed to our final destination. Camp Sherman. We arrived a little before 2 and were allowed to check into our cabin a little early. When we got into the cabin we all just kind of stood there looking around in amazement. It was pretty spectacular. The photos online were nice, but actually standing in the cabin looking around was far, far better.

After dropping our things in our bedrooms we opened the French doors and lounged in the Adirondack chairs a few feet from the Metolius River and let the vacation begin. C (who is a master chef trained at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris), made Margaritas, fresh salsa and chocolate chip cookies in a matter of minutes. Instantly everything was right in the world.



Later that evening we walked around Camp Sherman for a bit before we had dinner at the Kokanee Café.


Dinner was to celebrate C’s 60th birthday that happened a couple months ago. The Kokanee Café was charming and even though we were in the middle of Central Oregon and the menu was pretty meat heavy I was able to enjoy a wonderful and oh-so-pretty beet salad.


Then we went back to the cabin, sat on the deck and I drank my first glass of bourbon. “Drank” is probably not the right word, it was more like “sip, let it burn down my throat, and then sip again.” Needless to say I was ready for sleep after that.

Saturday morning I got up while the cabin was still quiet and put my running clothes on. It was a pretty, bright and sunny morning and I couldn’t wait to get out there and run. I ran away from the river first, along a bike trail. So, so pretty. Constant reminders of why I love Oregon so much.

Morning run

Morning run6

After that portion of my run I made my way to the bridge we had walked over the night before. I noticed there was a path that ran along both sides of the river so I followed the one on the right. It was amazing. I ran, walked, took pictures, ran some more and was happy to see other runners out.

Morning run4

morning run5

When I got back to the cabin the ladies were up and on the deck. C handed me a cup of tea and I sat for a while before I jumped in the shower. When I got dressed and came out into the living room I was taken by this view. I had to take a picture. So, so happy I decided to come and be a witness.


We drove into Sisters and did some shopping.


I bought some olives (LOVE) and some Strawberry infused balsamic vinegar and C & S bought some clothes. Headed back to Camp Sherman that afternoon C advised S and me that it was time to do some fishing. “If we must” was kind of the attitude S and I had, but since we were gathered to celebrate C, and she wanted to fish, we were fishing.

After we got to the location we had to put on waders and boots. It was painful. The boots were the right size but they seemed to squeeze my foot so painfully tight I could have cried. C swore it would be better as soon as I got in the water but I didn’t believe her. Still we joked and laughed and had the best time, all while preparing to do some fly fishing. It was so fun. Again, glad I had come.



Then I stepped into the water and made my way out to the center of the river. Wow. I am not a fisherman. In fact, I don’t “GET” fishermen. I don’t understand why people fish. It seems boring, time consuming and silly. Um, until I found myself standing in the middle of this rushing river and loved it. Didn’t catch anything, in fact, I wasn’t really trying. Standing in the middle of the river as the water rushed around me, on a beautiful, sunny day brought a peace on me I had not experienced in quite some time. I loved it and while I won’t say that I’ll ever fly fish again, I will most definitely stand in the middle of a river with waders and boots on and hold a fishing pole, just to get that sensation back. Peace. Pure and simple.



After that excursion we went back to the cabin to claim our spots on the back deck, eat munchies and I think I drank a beer as we watched the water. Later that evening C whipped up dinner and after it got dark we walked back to the Kokanee Café to sit in the bar and have a drink together. Wonderfulness.

While C & S were staying one more night, I was leaving on Sunday. I wanted to get back by 1 p.m. to pick up my puppy from the kennel so that required I leave shortly after 9. I got up early to run and say good-bye to Camp Sherman and the Metolius and again spend some time being grateful for my life.

When I got back to the cabin I enjoyed a cup of tea, jumped into the shower, passed out hugs and headed home. I made pretty good time considering I went home over the Santiam Pass, which is a two lane road with not enough passing lanes and way, way, way too many motorhomes traveling. Since I made good time I stopped in Salem to see my niece. Her and her fiancé have a dessert company and they were selling their products at the Salem Bite & Brew. She was surprised and happy to see me since it’s been awhile and she asked me to hang around for a bit because her mother would be arriving soon. It was worth the wait! I was thrilled to get to see and chat with my former sister-in-law. It had been about 6 years since I’d seen her last. After that reunion I got it in gear and went to pick up the puppy.

When I got home I put my stuff away and lounged in my quiet house reflecting on the weekend and the joy of friendship and family that will always be family regardless of circumstances. There is a lot going on in my life right now, but all things considered I have very little, if anything, to complain about. I’m happy, healthy and content with me. Can’t ask for much more.

C got us a gift to commemorate our trip at Camp Sherman. The bracelets have the longitude and latitude location of the cabin we stayed at. So unique and thoughtful.



Until next time people! Be well!

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So I pulled out the iPad to write this post.

My posts have been infrequent, if you haven’t noticed, and that’s due in large part to my employer blocking access to WordPress. I didn’t always write posts at work but it would happen on occasion. What happened more frequently, however, was writing at home while on my work computer. I still bring my computer home with me for work purposes, but since WordPress is blocked it does me no good with respect to my blog. And posting from my iPad is painful and SLOW. So there you go.

All that aside, my reflections on the past year and thoughts about the current new year compel me to write.

2013 was an interesting year.

With respect to my kids there has been some serious growth.

The oldest left for school last January, “tried” unsuccessfully to get a job, blamed me for many of his life’s woes, which mainly centered around the fact that I couldn’t support him in the same lavish lifestyle his roommates appeared to be living. He had his license suspended for a year for an M.I.P. charge. He got arrested for a few minor and a rather major offense, spent the longest hours of his life behind bars, stood before a judge for sentencing and then came home for the summer and slept til 2 p.m. every day so he could hang with his friends into the wee hours and again blamed me for his inability to get a job. But then something happened. And honestly I’m not really sure what it was but he left for school again in September and maturity began. He got a manual labor job and loved it. Loved the work, and the money that came from said work. Instead of coming home every weekend he went ten weeks before I saw him, coming home for Thanksgiving. The angry phone calls and mean spirited texts were replaced with texts telling me how much he loved and appreciated me. It was Twilight Zone shit in a big way. He came home for the Christmas holiday for three weeks and respected my rules without question or argument about smoking weed in my house. Maturity. Yo. He borrowed a little money from me, paid me back with ridiculous interest. He filled my car with gas and he cooked for himself on multiple occasions without telling me I was falling down on my parental responsibility. Seriously, I have had that conversation with my 20 year old. For the first time ever. EVER. I got a Christmas gift that was not purchased with my or my exhusbands money. Twilight Zone. But I couldn’t be any happier about it as he heads back to school this evening. I love this boy, I wish he understood how much.

Younger brother, who is similar but at the same time so completely different, is my heart. The relationship we have built since I left his father and since his brother moved out is one of my most cherished. We have a closeness that I hope lasts forever and what makes me most happy is that he is very close to his father as well. He has built two separate relationships with us that don’t rely on the other. That may sound odd, but it’s priceless. Add to that — the boy has risen to the occasion of high school and you are left with a proud mom. When he does something that requires discipline I am thankful for the reminder that he is STILL just a 14 year old boy. Again I wish he knew just how much I love him.


My job has morphed into a lot more responsibility over the year and I’m good with that. I still adore my boss and working in this corporate environment continually reminds me why I will never work in a law firm again. Life is too short to be that stressed out all the time. (I know not all law firms are super stressful but before my current job I worked as a litigation paralegal for a firm that had a hellacious trial calendar. There is no stress like trial prep that never let’s up.)

I didn’t travel as much as I like this year. One trip to Cannon Beach for a couple nights, trip to Mexico with girlfriends, trip to Idaho and then to Seattle with Blue Eyes. All quality trips though so it’s hard to find negativity where there is none.

Running was pretty low key. A couple half Mary’s, a 30k and one marathon that attempted to suck the life from me. All told I didn’t get close to 1,000 miles for the year, but what’s key is that by years end I had found my love for running again and that’s all I can ask for.

And then there’s Blue Eyes.

In September my amazing friend Jennifer wrote a blog post that I read early one morning while I was still laying in bed. She wrote about an asshole dude she had had the misfortune of meeting and within the post she wrote:

“Finding someone who . . . will pursue me and see me fully, someone who will think ‘Holy Shit this girl is a fricken catch and I’M NOT GOING TO MESS THIS UP’ . . .

When I read it I thought that’s fuckin right, don’t settle for less. My feelings were strong because I know how amazing she IS and I know she shouldn’t settle. Twenty minutes later as I stood in the shower still seething over the asshole on Jennifer’s behalf it dawned on me that what she described is 100% what I have in Blue Eyes. 100%. It was like a light bulb turned on and some things within me changed. Some things that cause me to hold back a little every now and again and rethink or possibly over think my relationship with this spectacular man whose number one goal in life is to make me happy. Who says to me “I love you more than everything.” And makes me believe him.

Our relationship changed a little. I was pretty strict about only seeing him on the weekends my kid is with his dad. Over the course of the year that changed and I see him at any feasible opportunity and my kids are okay with it. They like him. He doesn’t threaten them or their relationship with me and he likes them. This is key.

“B”, the man who dumped me and inspired me to start this blog, didn’t like my kids. It was a mutual dislike. They didn’t like him either. He also thought I was a shitty parent and it was his life mission to school me on the proper way to raise kids. Um yeah. On reflection I can’t figure out why I was so heartbroken and I was seriously heartbroken.

I saw this the other day and it made me think of “B”


Blue Eyes and I have had a lovely year together and have grown very close. I love just being in his company. He makes me laugh intensely and he makes me feel good about being me, just the way I am. No fixing necessary for him to find me perfect for him. And I actually find him incredibly perfect for me.

We went to Seattle for a couple of nights to celebrate the holidays together. We usually go to the beach because it’s my happy place in Oregon, but we changed it up and went north. We took the train and stayed in a great old hotel. Monday was our full day there. We got out of the hotel by 9 a.m. and we were out all day and night.

We went to the EMP (Experience Music Project) and spent about four hours there learning everything there is to know about Nirvana, Hendrix, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam and the likes. It was awesome to be there with someone as into it as I was.

We went on to the Space Needle, Pike Street Market where we checked out the gross and disgusting gum wall (I wouldn’t stand next to it for a picture and I was totally grossed out by all the people TOUCHING it!) and we went to the Sculpture Park.




We sat for awhile and people watched, went into the Rack so I could try on stripper shoes then went and drank beer…..and then we went and drank margaritas.



Then we strolled the streets until we came upon The Taproom. 160 beers on tap. Did I mention we like beer? We settled in at the Taproom around 9:30. We were still there at midnight….

I’d never had beer in a glass like this.

I was having such a good time. A little tipsy, a lot happy, thrilled to be out of town without any responsibility. Happy to be with Blue Eyes. It couldn’t have gotten any better.

But then it did. Get better.

He said “this has been the very best year of my life and I thought it fitting to end it on a high note.” I started coughing about this time and turned away from him (I’d had an icky cold for awhile). When I stopped coughing and turned back towards him I noticed the goofy grin on his face first and then I saw he was holding the ring. THE RING! I was totally surprised. And speechless. Me. Speechless. If you know me you KNOW that’s almost impossible, but he did it.



I said yes.


So it’s all official and we are engaged.

I think it’ll be a long engagement but we’ll see. He wants what I want. That’s all.

I was on Match.com for three weeks before I hid my profile. Blue Eyes got in under the wire. I almost didn’t go out with him because the day before I had gone out with a grade A jerk and I was a little sketchy about the whole online dating thing. Then I got freaked out because he liked me too much and so I pushed him away to date other people and met another jerk. That’s when I decided I just wanted to sleep with men without commitment. Did that for awhile with a young guy I had nothing in common with but the sex. All the while Blue Eyes waited patiently for me to figure it out. He let me figure out, on my time, that he is a good guy. That he is the right guy. That he is everything I want.

The train ride home was a happy one. I see good things in the future.


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Merry Christmas!!


Just popping in to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and an exciting and fun end to this year and the most spectacular 2014 imaginable!!

Blue Eyes and I are headed to Seattle for a few days for our own little holiday.

I’m still running, but only for my own personal pleasure. I will start the year running a 5k at midnight on NYE and then we’ll see what’s up for the year.

Despite the bullshit inherent in life, things are pretty spectacular. This has been a good year, (but that’s another post), and I am beyond excited for 2014.

I wish you all the best!


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Hello Peeps!  Miss me?  Yeah, I thought not.

Life is busy — it’s picking up a ridiculous momentum that I can’t quite figure out, but I’m happy, so really there’s nothing to worry about.

Hadn’t been running much.  Well, that’s not true.  I’d been running, but not very far.  I’d just run when I felt like it, for however far I felt like running.  I made the decision not to run any more races this year after that horrid Marathon in June.  I felt like I needed to take “training” pressure off of me because I half ass train as it is and the pressure just made me feel guilty and I just wanted to remember that I just love to run, because I love to run.  That’s all.

So that course of action was going along fine, keeping me busy, allowing me time to go to Bikram pretty regularly, lift weights three times a week, throw in a kick boxing workout here and there.  Shit, I even did  a step aerobics work out that I hadn’t done in YEARS.  Kicked my ass pretty good.  All this because I scaled back the running.

Then the Portland Marathon happened.  A fellow blogger, who I shall now refer to as my “friend” since we’ve met (:)), came from Texas to run it.  Blue Eyes and I went out to Mile 21 to cheer her on.  I hadn’t been to a marathon since that horrid previously mentioned one.  Watching the runners with less than 5 1/2 miles to go, run by with smiles on their faces affected me.  It made me want to run another marathon.

It was odd to be standing out there with a sign made especially for a friend I’d never met, waiting patiently (while loudly cheering for everyone who passed by) for her to run by.  I’d only seen her in pictures on her blog.  Wasn’t sure I’d recognize her.  Didn’t know which side of the street I should be standing on, which side she’d be running on.  Didn’t want to miss her, but wasn’t sure I’d know if I had!  How’s that for an interesting afternoon?

As it turned out we were on the right side of the street, and knowing her bib number and how fast she was planning to run helped us NOT miss her.  She zoomed by, saw her sign, smiled, and made some comment about dying, but DAMN was she fast.  She ran that fucker in 3:33 and qualified for Boston.  I was very happy to have been there to cheer her on.

After the marathon Blue Eyes and I met her and her husband at a bar for beer and food.  While she was walking a little slow she was in fine form after running a marathon and it was a pleasure to spend the time with them.  Here is a picture of us her husband took.  Doesn’t she look great?!


Anyway I started thinking about marathons and while I will not be running anything more this year, this year is almost over.  So I’m looking toward 2014.

I’m 98.9% positive I will run the Vancouver USA Marathon on June 15, 2014 — but I’ve been looking at a couple others.  I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself, but I think June is a good goal.  Vancouver was my first marathon and while I’m not one who likes to run the same thing twice, I think since it was my first I’d like to see how much better I can do.  We’ll see.

More recently, I injured myself and couldn’t run, do yoga or lift weights for 10 days.  It sucked ass, quite frankly, and to add insult to injury I had the entire week off from work!  On Wednesday (day 6 of NO exercise) I took my mother to Forest Park and we hiked about 5 miles up to Pittock Mansion and back.  It was not what I wanted to do, but it did make me feel like less of a lump.

Injury has healed, however, and I’m 100% and released to run, lift and do yoga.  Yay!  I ran three miles yesterday and four today and it was heavenly.  HEAVENLY!  I’ll be going to yoga on Wednesday night if I can swing it and then again on Sunday.  I’m volunteering at Autumn Leaves 50k/50m on Saturday morning.  It’s my third year in a row volunteering and I love it.  My volunteer position is at the front gate giving parking passes to the runners and volunteers.  While I have to be there at 4:45 a.m., my shift is over at 7 — and I get to say Hello to all the runners and wish them good luck – I know many of them so it makes it that much better.

Thought I’d be running the 50 miler this year, but I have to say I’m glad I removed that from my agenda.  I’d likely be a basket case right now.  Next year may just be my 50 mile year.  We’ll see.

In other news my youngest son is thriving as a freshman in high school and has a girlfriend.  While my oldest son had may friends who were girls, he made it completely through high school without a girlfriend so I have no experience with this.  The cute couple went to Homecoming together, and she comes to my house after school so they can “study” — (I find myself knocking and opening his bedroom door without waiting for a response just to see what they’re REALLY doing, but all I get is studying) — he’s gone to dinner with her and her parents (my picky child ate fondue!) and he took her to dinner at Red Robin for their “one month anniversary”  — I told him he needed to get a job.   Girlfriends are expensive!  Here are a couple pictures from Homecoming.




The oldest had his court hearing with respect to the St. Patrick’s Day party, finally.  He pleaded to noise disturbance and got a $250 fine, and he pleaded to not cooperating with a police officer and got divergence for that.  He has to walk a straight and narrow line for six months, pay a $250 fine, do 20 hours of community service and attend a sentencing hearing and all other charges will be dropped.  It was an expensive lesson and I hope he learned it.  Only time will tell, however.

Blue eyes and I are talking about marriage.  Yeah, really.  Not going to happen soon.  He knows my time frame for marriage falls after the kid graduates from high school.  44 months from now (yeah, I’m counting).  But the truth is I WANT to marry this man.

We looked at rings together.  That’s a big step, wouldn’t you think?  It’s even bigger than you think, since money, as in a deposit, was actually put down on a ring.

I reminded him that even though things aren’t happening conventionally, he still has to officially ASK me to marry him — he says he knows and he will, so now I’m trying not to wait and expect.  Ha ha ha.  Yeah, if you know me at all you know that’s a stretch.  But I’m coping.  I’m pretty sure he’s going to wait til he gets the ring in his hand.  I’ll keep you posted.

I think that’s it people.  I hope you’re all well.  I’ve been keeping up on the blogs as best I can.  Jon and Liana are getting ready for the NY Marathon in two weeks, exciting.  Becelisa is getting ready for Marine Corp Marathon THIS WEEKEND.  Rocks has been quiet (yes, I notice).  The Dancing Runner still has unimaginable energy every-single-day!  Wendy Spin has been writing some amazing blog posts about self image, reality and training.  I love this woman and wish I lived in Colorado so she could be my FRIEND.  Seriously.  She’s the real deal.  No bullshit.

All this to say I may not write often, or comment, or “like” a post, but I’m reading.

Take it easy, and be well!!

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Bikram Choudhury

On Saturday I tried something I’d been incredibly curious about for the last year (at least).

Bikram Yoga.

Yoga itself is something I’ve only just begun to accept as okay.  I was raised by a pair of free-love, marijuana-smoking, hippie types in Berkeley, California and since my mother never shaved any part of her body, invited strangers into our home on the regular and practiced yoga – I discounted it as hippie hoo-ha and refused to even consider it.

Things change.

I’m 47 years old, my hippie parents are even older and while they still have some hippie traits about them, I can’t deny they are incredibly educated (both are now retired attorneys) and my mother, who sometime over the last 20 years started shaving her legs and underarms, is a pretty fit “old lady” who I love and adore more than most.

All this to say Yoga was back on the table as “possibly acceptable.”

I bought P90X for my son a few years ago and when he quit acting like he was going to use it, I used it and fell in love with it.  I did the whole P90X thing from beginning to end a couple of times EXCEPT I skipped the yoga.  Wasn’t interested.  Guess 44 wasn’t old enough to appreciate change.

Then the last time I started the rotation I decided to give the yoga my time and I loved it.  Loved it.  It calmed me after an awful day at work, took stress away without much effort and let me just focus on me, my breathing and my poses.  Magical.  Kind of like running, except I can do it in the evening.

Rolling back up to how I started this, I’ve been curious about Bikram yoga for a while because, well, yoga isn’t easy.  If you’ve never done it you may think that it is, but it isn’t.  And doing it in a hot room seems crazy.  Still I was intrigued.

I’m a little neurotic about cleansing toxins from my system on the regular.  I’m a little neurotic about what I’m eating, why I’m eating it, where it comes from, is it organic, will it harm me to eat it, etc.

I’m a vegetarian all the time, a vegan most of the time and a raw foodist a good portion of the time.   Because I’m neurotic.  And well, yeah, maybe because I was raised by hippies, one of which is a woman who chose 12 years ago not to do chemo when she had breast cancer and instead healed herself (and is currently cancer free) with a raw food diet.  Yeah, that may have something to do with it.

So my mother and I just went through the ten day Master Cleanse.  If you’re not familiar with the Master Cleanse you live ten days on a lemonade concoction of lemon juice, water, maple syrup and cayenne pepper.  No food.  It’s hard, it’s easy, and it’s boring.  That’s what it really is.    But I do it regularly because I’m neurotic and I always feel good on the other side, like I’ve pushed an internal reset button.

Friday was day 10 of the cleanse.  Friday I asked my mother if she wanted to go to a Bikram Yoga class with me on Saturday morning.  She did her research about it (because she’s retired, and used to be an attorney and is all about research) and when I came home on Friday she said “hell yeah” she wanted to do the Bikram, it was all about releasing toxins from the body with the heat, etc., and would be a nice complement to coming off the cleanse.  Well alrighty then.

Day 11 of the cleanse does not find you eating, by the way.  Day 11 and Day 12 you simply get to drink fresh squeezed orange juice instead of lemonade.

Saturday morning at 6:40 we were at the studio.  Filled out the paperwork, made our way into the room.  Put our mats down and laid down in Savasana.  As I laid there in the 105 degree room with 40% humidity I thought, hmm, I am not a fan of heat, but this isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

When the instructor came in and we started moving through the 26 poses I wanted to slap myself.  105 degrees with 40% humidity is fine when you’re lying on your back breathing, but the second you start twisting your body all around in a room with 30 other people it’s cruel and unusual.

But when those 90 minutes were over I had to admit that I enjoyed it far more than I expected to and I looked at my mother and said “same time tomorrow?”  And she said “hell yeah!”  So there we were on Sunday, Day 12 of no food, sweating more than I ever thought humanly possible through 90 of the longest minutes of my life, but again, when it was over I was happy to have done it.

It’s an experience like no other.

A weird experience.

Now, a day later, I’m eating (raw) food again and life is generally back to normal, but I can’t deny that I’m looking forward to next Saturday’s class.  I’m thinking it might feel different after a week back on this thing we call “food.”

Bikram and I have a relationship now and I’m interested to see where he takes me.


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