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Archive for the ‘Happiness’ Category

Hello People!

I remember thinking, at the beginning of 2017, that this was going to be quite a year. Lot’s going on. Well, today is the end of the first HALF of 2017. Mind blowing really, but it’s true. We only have six more months in this amazing year. So much has happened, and yet, so much is getting ready to happen and it really IS blowing my mind.

 
The biggest thing to happen recently is my baby child graduated from high school. My baby child who towers above me (and I’m not short at 5’8”). It was a wonderful ceremony and he had an army of family there from Michigan and California to cheer for him when they called his name. It was pretty special and I could not believe how emotional it made me. I mean, seriously, I’d been through this before with his older brother, but man, it really got me. But oh my goodness I’m so proud.

 

Ethan Graduation

 

He mentioned, a couple of days before graduation, that he should get his hair cut so he could wear the cap – I will not tell my children how to dress, wear their hair, or anything similar – but I hated the idea of him cutting his hair. The afro has defined his high school years and it just seemed wrong for him to cut it before graduation. Instead of saying THAT, however, I just taught him about bobby pins. When he walked out with his class it made me giggle to see his cap hanging off the back of his giant afro. Despite the wind and subsequent (light) rain, it stayed on!

 

Ethan Grad Line

 

We had a joint graduation party for him and his best friend the following day and it was a success as well. My Ex-husband and I coexisted in the same room together without nuclear warfare and I got to see members of his family that I love dearly and miss terribly. It was a very good time.

 

But now that’s all over.

 

What’s next?

 

Well, I’m going to play the part of the bride in a wedding that’s scheduled to occur in 43 days. It’s freaking me out. After years, literally, of waiting for this to happen, it’s right around the proverbial corner. And although we went to great lengths to stress to each other that we were going to have a “small” wedding, which in some way sounded “easy” – it freaking ISN’T easy. The details are coming out of my ass. I’m not complaining though. I’ve been waiting, patiently, to marry this man, again, in front of everyone who matters to us, for three and a half years so I can certainly handle the details.

 

I get my wedding dress back from the seamstress tomorrow. Yay.

 

Did I mention we’re building a house? Probably not. We are. A house where finally, after the same 3½ years, we will get to live together under the same roof. It’s a novel concept, isn’t it? Originally we were scheduled to close on July 28. That was a mere 14 days before the wedding which was stressful to think about but we were willing to deal with it – but then cabinets got delayed and now we are not scheduled to close until August 22.

 
With this news we were both annoyed and a little depressed. It means we’re going to have a wedding, go away for a couple of days and then when we return to the area, he will go to his house and I will go to mine, 45 minutes away, because “our house” is not ready yet.

 

We were annoyed and a little depressed until we voiced the fact that less than two weeks more of waiting, after waiting for as long as we have, is really child’s play and not worth the effort of being annoyed. So there you go.

 

We visit the house regularly – can’t help it. We’ll be visiting it this weekend to check on the progress. Last time we were there the drywall was up and it was starting to really look like a house, instead of a shell of a house.

 

House

 

After we get into the house we will have about 6 weeks to settle in before we will leave on our official honeymoon. Every time I get a little stressed out I take a deep breath and remind myself that soon enough (99 days from today, yes, I’m counting) we will leave for 23 straight days of vacation.

 

I know this is crazy – but just last week I made a lunch reservation for us at Club del Doge. Yes, I have issues, but I want that table right by the water and made that request in my reservation. No one seemed to think it was odd that I was making the reservation for October in June. Tables on the terrace are hard to come by so I took what I think are appropriate measures. . .

 

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So ya’ll, that’s what’s going on with me. I hope you are all well and getting ready to thoroughly enjoy a nice long weekend to celebrate the 4th of July. My weekend is scheduled to be low key, which is how I like it. The sun is shining and life is good.

 

So good.

 

Gratefulness overflows.

 

Be well People!

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Hello 2017!

Happy New Year People!  It’s been awhile since I’ve been here.

 

Over a year actually.

 

Time does indeed fly.

 

That being said, 2016 was not what I would call quick.  It wasn’t particularly bad, even though there were a handful of sucky moments – overall 2016 was a good year.

 

At the top of my list of sucky moments in 2016 would be my failure to complete a marathon that I didn’t train for.  Yeah.  You read that right.  I didn’t train.  At all.  But somehow I thought I was still going to get out there and run 26.2 miles.  It was stupid.  It was ugly and I called it quits at mile 15.  After I burst into tears and fell into Blue Eyes arms sobbing “I can’t do this.”

 

He simply said “Okay.  The car is over here.”  I was much more distraught over my failed attempt than he was.  It made no difference to him whether I ran the whole distance or only a portion of it.  He still thought I was pretty fucking cool.

 

2016 was the year Blue Eyes and I both turned 50.  He turned 50 first and for that occasion I threw him a surprise birthday party.  It was a huge surprise party with lots of friends and family in attendance.  You must understand Blue Eyes is an introvert in every sense of the word.  He likes people, sort of, but it is never his idea of a good time to be the center of attention.   When we arrived at the restaurant and everyone yelled “Surprise!” the look on his face was priceless.  He recovered though and enjoyed the party.

 

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My 50th birthday was five months later and for the occasion Blue Eyes took me to my happy place in Oregon.  Cannon Beach.  We spent two nights at the coast and I got to wake up in my favorite place with my favorite person.  It was pretty spectacular.

 

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Throughout the year we went to Seattle two or three times, spent a long weekend in Bend, and saw the coast more than once.  We even managed to steal away to Hawaii for a few days in October.

 

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It was a short trip, but we watched some sunrises and sunsets

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and rented a little cottage on the beach on the North Shore.  This is the view from the bed.  It was pretty nice to wake up to that!

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BUT 2016 is over and we are here in 2017.  Finally.

 

Blue Eyes and I have been waiting for 2017 for a while.

 

My youngest son will turn 18 in May.  He will graduate from high school in June.  Blue Eyes and I will begin living together -full time- under the same roof, I hope, by July (a mere three years and four months since . . . well, you know ;)).  We will have a wedding (for everyone to witness), on August 12th, six years after meeting on Match.com and then in October we are off on our honeymoon for three weeks.

 

When I was dating a lot, six plus years ago, I always asked guys “If you could go anywhere, where would you want to go?”  Blue Eyes’ answer was Greece.  My answer has always been Italy.  This October both will happen and I can hardly wait.

 

Oh, and did I mention I get to wear a wedding dress in August?  Which means I bought a wedding dress in 2016.  I went to the bridal store and said “Show me something appropriate for a second wedding” the girl looked at me and said “Anything you like is appropriate for a second wedding.”  And with that I had a blast with my best girlfriend and tried on a number of things I would have never worn in my previous life.

 

one

 

I found the one.  And that one in the picture is not it, but its similar.  🙂  However, I refused to pay what the bridal store was asking so I found it on Ebay – from a bridal shop in another state – that had never been altered  (since it was a floor model).  It was quite a bit less.  It’s hanging in my closet now, waiting patiently for August 12.  Just like me.

 

Be well people!

 

PEACE!

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Columbia Gorge Marathon

Hello People 🙂

I hope you’re all well and wonderful.

I ran a marathon on Sunday and thought it appropriate to write a little something about it.

The last marathon I ran was Vancouver Washington in June of 2014, so it had been awhile.  My training was pretty great in the beginning but with school, work, my kids, my husband and a couple additional part time jobs it fell off and wasn’t what it should have been.  I considered not running it but that just didn’t seem right.

The Columbia Gorge Marathon is touted as one of the most breathtaking marathons because the majority of the run is along the old Columbia River Highway and the views are spectacular.  Here are a few pictures I took on the course to prove that fact.

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It was beautiful.  Truly. 

But OY the hills.  It was a constant uphill climb that I was not prepared for.  It was an out and back course and yet it felt like a constant uphill in both directions even though I know that’s impossible. 

For the most part I did fine.  The turnaround point was 12 miles in.  Blue Eyes was waiting for me there with a hug and an encouraging word and I headed back.  At mile 16 I felt okay but could tell I was coming up on my wall.  Historically I hit the wall around mile 18. 

At mile 18 the sun went away, massive dark clouds appeared and the sky let loose with the coldest, hardest rain ever.  I started to sink mentally.  I rounded a corner and saw Blue Eyes and two of our friends cheering for me.  The friends had signs just for me (a first) and Blue Eyes had skittles.  The wall was pushed back a little and I powered up the hill to get back on the trail.

The trail was a little more than five miles before you come out and head down into the town of Hood River to the finish.  The trail is where I met the wall.

There was no shield from the rain, it was so cold and so hard that eventually I couldn’t feel my fingers.  I cried a bit, thought about quitting and then realized that no matter what I did I had to get to the end of the trail before anyone could come get me and if I made it that far it was just another 2.5 miles downhill to the finish.  So I sucked it up.

I came around a corner near the end of the trail and saw a figure on the side of the trail standing there.  The form was familiar but I was too far away to think anything else.  When I got closer I saw that it was my best girlfriend who I did not expect.  Especially not there.

Here are some pictures she took at that moment…

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This was mile 23.5.

That smile had very little to do with the marathon and everything to do with seeing a friendly face and hearing her scream “you got this!”

She was right.  I had it.  I finished 2.5 miles later and got my reward.  Another medal and a well deserved hug from the hubby.

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And then there was beer…..

Be well people!

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Feels like I’ve abandoned this blog, however I think simply not having time for it is more accurate.  Life is busy.  Life is good. 

This blog was started from sadness.  I thought the love of my life had just dumped me and I wasn’t sure I was going to survive it.  This blog gave me an outlet and anonymity.  Fabulous strangers told me they understood and sympathized with me. 

Somehow I moved beyond the sadness and spent a lot of time dating a lot of people.  Sometimes there was no date.  Only sex.  It was an interesting period and I cringe at some of my memories, laugh at others and am grateful for most.

I joined Match.com at the very end of July 2011.  It was such a yucky experience that my profile only stayed visible for 11 days.  I met a lot of jerks in 11 days.  Blue Eyes and I exchanged phone numbers during those 11 days but he didn’t actually contact me until after I’d shut my profile down.  I was so jaded and skeptical and sick of wasting my time when he asked to get together I said no.  He asked again and to get him to leave me alone I made our first meeting very difficult on him, with ridiculous location and time specifics.  I told him I only had 27 minutes to spare and if he was late it was his problem, not mine.  None of this phased him.

After that first meeting we dated for awhile and I decided he was too nice.  Too nice.  I broke up with him three months after we started dating because he was too nice. 

Six weeks later he called me out of the blue and asked me out.  Life has been pretty spectacular since that moment.  Ups, downs, twists and turns but spectacular nonetheless.

He has been my husband for a little over a year, yet our wedding is 27 months away.  We do not live under one roof, yet we spend every possible moment together.  I wouldn’t suggest this course of action to anyone, but it works for us right now.

My very best girlfriend took some photographs of us recently.  As I scrolled through them I saw how this lovely man looks at me, how I look at him and what love and happiness looks like, despite the day to day trials of life.

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I love this man and all of his niceness.  Despite my personal feelings about Match.com I will forever be grateful that they made “us” possible.

Be well people!

xoxo

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\‘flek-sə-bəl\

1: capable of being flexed | pliant

2: yielding to influence | tractable

3: characterized by a ready capability to adapt to new, different, or changing requirements.

Life is about flexibility, right?  If you’re not flexible you can cause yourself an undue amount of stress.  Stress leads to worry and worry leads to wrinkles.  Can’t have that!  I am not about wrinkles!

When I started this blog I was heartbroken over my break up with a man I thought was perfect.  He wasn’t perfect.  Still isn’t.  It’s nice that I’ve come to realize that.  I still think he’s a fine individual, but he is far from perfect.  And he is definitely not perfect for me.  I proclaimed at the time I wouldn’t date for a year.  It seemed reasonable given the situation and my mental state, but that statement wasn’t flexible.  And as we all know, I didn’t stick with that for any more than a hot second.  I like men; their attention, their company, their . . . well, you know.  I like men.

In keeping with my desire to be flexible I realize that I can’t put myself in a box.  I don’t believe I’m looking for a relationship right now.  In fact, I’m doing nothing towards that end.  No concentrated effort.  No effort at all, frankly.  But I will quit saying what I am and am not doing.  I will simply be flexible.  Whatever happens will happen.  I’m lucky enough to be spending my time with a couple of really nice guys who, as of last weekend, know about each other.  While they don’t particularly like knowing there is another, they acknowledge our relationship is purely friendship and casual sex and for now, at least, they’re okay with it.  They are flexible.  It’s working for me.

With respect to my running, my flexibility was a little questionable. I ran a lot of races last year.  By the end of the year I was exhausted and I proclaimed on my running blog (which, by the way, is going away because running is so intertwined and a part of my life I cannot separate the two worlds sufficiently for two blogs) that I was going to take it easy this year.  Simple:  3 marathons and 1 ultra.  Flexible?  Meh. . . not really.

As of today, February 16, 2012 I have committed, and put my mind, body and spirit on notice, to run 5 marathons, 1 ultra, 1 half mary and 1 endurance Du (which equates to another half and 56 miles of bicycle riding which = L-O-V-E!).  Oh, and two of the marathons are back to back – the Firecracker Double is what their calling it.  If I survive two marathons in two days I will certainly finish my year strong with an ultra in California and my final marathon in Utah in November (Moab = L-O-V-E!).

I fretted about my original running plan for the year, and what it has actually become but I’m not sure why.  Maybe I think it’s too much.  But I don’t really.  I’m up for the challenge and totally capable.  Maybe I just like to fret periodically.  That’s more likely the case.  I love to run and can’t imagine being as excited about putting my money towards anything else. . . except possibly returning to Hawaii.

All things considered, however, I plan to find myself in Hawaii in December just like last year, only this time I’ll have my boys with me.  My oldest will be on break from his first term of college (I can’t believe I just wrote that) and my youngest will be happy to get such concentrated time with his brother.  Me?  I’ll be happy to have accomplished my running goals, and will celebrate with the warmest of trade winds in the most perfect of spots.  Celebrating my flexibility and a year worth living.

Excitement abounds . . . .

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In August of this year I declared, on these pages, my desire to simply lay on a beach and be.

It was a want I could not shake. Of course it goes without saying that I like to travel, who doesn’t?(asshole ex not included). And I am particularly fond of sun, sand and lovely blue water, but when I put it out there four months ago I was not so certain it would become a reality.

My soul rejoiced today when I stepped off the plane in Hawaii.

It will no doubt continue to rejoice over the next five days as I absorb what I came for. A calm and gentle peace in my heart.

My younger brother is in the middle of a ten day meditation retreat. My brother, who I adore, is hard core. This retreat he’s at is 10 days of no talking (no voice, written word, or hand gestures) and ten hours and forty-five minutes of meditation each day. He’s never done it before but he was very excited to meditate on what he wants out of 2012. After talking to him I realized that’s why I’m here. To spend some time honestly thinking about what I want in and out of my life in 2012. Meditation Hawaiian Style.

I saw the most amazing sunset tonight.

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My heart is happy and quite content. Can it get much better than this? Possibly, but in an effort to stay in the moment I must declare that this, right now, is pretty spectacular.

Happy Holidays!

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This is the view from my office this morning . . .

I think its going to be a wonderful day!

I love Portland . . .

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